A Blog Post About a Blog Post About Lax Bros

Here’s a fantastic blog post from Grantland.com (one of the best sports websites out there) about a rather ridiculous Boston Globe article about “lax bros,” who are apparently just jocks who play lacrosse, i.e., lacrosse players (and people wonder why newspapers are dying!).

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/28743/trend-alert-lax-bros

I giggled the entire time I was reading it. It’s surreal even if you know what they’re talking about; I think it must be even funnier to readers who know nothing about lacrosse (so everyone should read it).

Also, I must say that I totally have a crush on Katie Baker. She’s my favorite writer on the site aside from Bill Simmons (and it’s a closer contest than I’d like to admit. Sorry for my near-disloyalty, Sports Guy!). That ranking speaks both to how excellent of a writer Baker is and how much Chuck Klosterman has stunk up the joint of late, mostly by refusing to publish more than one column a month (that’s how it feels, anyway). I’m sad that hockey season is coming to an end because it means that Baker’s “Coldhearted” column will come to an end, too.

Et tu, Andy?

I still haven’t gotten over Kristen Wiig’s decision to leave Saturday Night Live, and now Andy Samberg has announced that he is also leaving, and Jason Sudeikis might be, too: http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/andy-samberg-leaving-saturday-night-live-16478784#.T8xRK79ob7c.

This is a tough blow. Samberg’s digital shorts and “Weekend Update” characters (especially his impression of Nic Cage!) are fabulous; next to Wiig and head writer Seth Myers he’s been the most important creative force on the show for the past few seasons. There will be some major gaps for next season’s cast to fill. The pressure’s on Bill Hader to carry things, now.

If Sudeikis leaves, I’ll be sad, but not heartbroken as I am with the other two. Frankly, I can’t blame Sandberg and, even more so, Wiig, who was the best SNLer since Will Ferrell, for leaving in order to make more money in film. But I’m not sure that it would be a good career move for Sudeikis. He should be one of those guys like Darrell Hammond (and Fred Armisen, who is better than both Hammond and Sudeikis) who sticks around forever.

Euro 2012 Predictions

Here are my predictions for the first round of Euro 2012, with teams listed in the order I think they will finish.

Group A

Russia

Greece

Czech Republic

Poland

I am generally not much of a believer in “home field advantage” in big tournaments when the host isn’t already a decent team to begin with. Poland is not a good team, and this group will be too difficult for them. I think Russia is finally ready to break through and surprise some people, and I like Greece’s steady, solid play more than the Czech Republic’s streakiness. But honestly, I could see any of the four teams qualifying from this group. It’s not nearly as flashy as the Group B “Group of Death,” but it will be a tightly-contested group with at least a few draws. I wouldn’t be surprised if second place was decided by goal difference.

 

Group B

 

Holland

Germany

Denmark

Portugal

The official “Group of Death” according to the media, though I am more confident about my picks for it than I am for any other group. Holland and Germany are just too good: they are experienced, tactically sophisticated, in form, and cool-headed enough to get the results they need. It could be that Germany top the group, but I see Holland winning it on goal difference. Portugal’s history of (relative) failure in big tournaments has become a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point, much like England’s constant failure when a match goes to penalties. Cristiano Ronaldo of ten has trouble translating his brilliance at the club level to big tournaments, and, while I love watching Nani play with Manchester United, he is able to thrive there because he doesn’t have to carry the side, whereas that pressure will be on him for Portugal. The Danes will put up a good fight, but simply don’t have the talent needed to advance out of this group—too bad they aren’t in Group A.

 

Group C

 

Spain

Ireland

Croatia

Italy

The Italians are old and rocked by scandal. I think Spain still has enough quality to win the group, though I don’t think they will win the entire tournament. The real fight will be for second place. I like Ireland here for intangible reasons. After they were robbed of a 2010 World Cup berth by France, they are due some good soccer karma, and I think this will help them get to the second round, and maybe further depending on their opponents.

 

Group D

 

Ukraine

England

Sweden

France

Like Italy, I can’t take this version of France seriously as more than a once-glorious name. Ukraine are good enough to take advantage of playing at home to win the group, though I would be surprised if they won a knock-out match. England and Sweden could easily flip-flop, especially with England’s rash of recent injuries and Wayne Rooney’s two-match suspension. But if England are still in contention once Rooney returns, expect them to go through. It’s another “Group of Death”-lite, though (Group C is really the only group where this is not the case).

Johan Santana, Mets Legend

Tonight Johan Santana threw the first no-hitter in New York Mets history (boxscore: http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=320601121).

As a life-long Mets fan, it is difficult to describe how amazing I feel. The Mets have existed since 1962 and were one of only two Major League teams (out of 30) to have never thrown a no-hitter (the San Diego Padres are the other), and this is knowledge that each Mets fan carries with us constantly. Every game, you wonder, is this the night? until that first hit drops. Tonight, it finally was. Watching the ninth inning, I could barely move, I was numb, the first two batters made fly ball outs that initially looked like they might drop in for bloop hits, then Johan fell behind the  final batter, David Freese, 3-0, but he battled back and struck him out swinging, which was the perfect end to the game. Kudos to catcher Josh Thole, who was playing his first game since coming off of the disabled list with a concussion, for calling a fantastic game all the way through, and to manager Terry Collins for leaving Santana in the game despite his high pitch count. Mets fans would never have forgiven him if he had pulled Santana before he allowed a hit.

Watching the replay of the final pitch and the ensuing pile-up on the mound, one thing that stands out is that there is a fan wearing a Gary Carter jersey who runs out onto the field and joins the celebration. This is both wonderful and poignant considering Carter’s death earlier this year and the fact that the Mets are wearing a memorial patch for him all season long. The lack of a no-hitter has weighed heavily on fans, so I am glad that one got to join in on the field as a representative of us all.

As is well-known, the Mets have had numerous pitchers throw no-hitters once they were no longer with the Mets, the three most famous being Tom Seaver, Nolan Ryan (who threw seven!), and Doc Gooden (he and David Cone’s both came when they were with the evil Yankees). Before tonight, Seaver had come the closest to throwing one as a Met, reaching the ninth inning without allowing a hit three times. It feels so, so good that these statistics are now irrelevant, kind of like when the Rangers ended their 54-year Stanley Cup drought in 1994. This year’s Mets team is showing that they have a lot of heart and that they are not going away quietly. Nights like tonight make you think that something special is happening.

An Ode to Advertisements in Old Comic Books

I’ve been reading some older comic books lately, and I’m struck by how a large part of the aesthetic pleasure which results from this activity comes from the advertisements sprinkled throughout the books and on their back covers. In other words, the activity is more about re-experiencing material culture to create pleasant nostalgia than it is about revisiting my favorite super heroes. Here are some examples:

Defenders advertisement

This is a great page of ads from The Defenders #53!  It’s colorful, the range of fonts make it visually interesting, and it is also a fascinating artifact of the time when comic book dealing was becoming big business. There’s also the obligatory strength-training ad.

Here’s the back cover ad from the same issue:

Dr. J ad

Who doesn’t love a cartoon version of Dr. J? Are you a nerdy, 98-pound weakling type who needs the strength training offered earlier, or an athlete who likes to shoot hoops with his friends after school? Comic books bring both types together, just like a print version of The Breakfast Club.

But Marvel did not have a monopoly on great ads. Here’s a fantastic Bubble Yum ad from Tales of the New Teen Titans #4, complete with instructions for a magic trick:

Bubble Yum

And here’s an excellent Dungeons & Dragons ad from the back cover:

Dungeons & Dragons ad

The ads are light-hearted, meant for children, unlike those in comic books today. For instance, in the X-Men issue I wrote about in my previous post, there was a car ad and an insurance ad inside the book, and a motorcycle ad on the back cover (though I must note that the insurance ad was written in comic form like the Dungeons & Dragons ad above). Obviously the target audience for comic books has shifted in the past twenty years from younger teenagers to adults who grew up with comics and still read them (this shift has almost exactly coincided with my own maturing–I was the target audience in 1992 and I am still [or, perhaps, am once again?] the target audience today), but I think something is lost in the more expensive, high-gloss comics of today. The books themselves feel sterilized and are unpleasant to hold. The artwork is beautiful, but the objects that contain it are not.

Astonishing X-Men 50–The Gay Proposal Issue

I just finished reading Astonishing X-Men 50, which, along with issue 51 that comes out next month, includes the first same-sex proposal/marriage in comic book history. Of course it is ridiculous that these two issues have caused such controversy in the media in the past few weeks, first, because it is another case of the media being sensationalistic, and second (and most importantly), because people who are still against “gay marriage” are bigots, plain and simple. Unfortunately, the U.S.A. is still a ridiculous, homophobic society, though, so kudos to Marvel for taking a public stand on the correct, humane side of the argument.

The way Northstar’s proposal to his non-superhero boyfriend Kyle is written is a beautiful political statement because it is not flashy, it just happens (and Kyle says no! It will be interesting to see how issue 51 fits both his change-of-heart and the wedding in.). There is nothing to set it apart as “weird” or “special.” It just happens. This is the kind of inclusiveness that it is necessary for society to show to LGBT persons. The pro-gay marriage movement is not calling for special privileges, it is simply calling for equal rights.

Books Acquired Recently

Baraka, Amiri. Dutchman and The Slave. 1964. New York: Harper, 2001.

I bought this book to use while completing my essay in the forthcoming Modern Language Association volume Approaches to Teaching Baraka’s Dutchman, for which it is the standard edition. However, I’ve never read The Slave before, and I look forward to it. I love Baraka’s work because it is so energetic and straightforward. Most people dislike his work because it is so angry, but I think his anger towards whites is justified, and I appreciate his ability to use literature as a political weapon while still maintaining a high level of aesthetic quality.

Irving, John. In One Person. New York: Simon, 2012.

I have enjoyed the two Irving novels I’ve read, The World According to Garp (which I really need to find time to re-read since I read it eleven years ago) and The 158-Pound Marriage, and In One Person received a glowing review from The New Yorker, so I thought I would read it because its main character is bisexual, which is a major rarity.

Both books bought at amazon.com.

Anticipating Euro 2012

Euro 2012 (the men’s European soccer championship) begins next Friday, and I can’t wait! I dreamt last night about England’s opening match (although it was their first World Cup match in the dream because they were playing China). Steven Gerrard scored in the first minute on a volley from the left side, which was good, but I was angry that Danny Welbeck wasn’t in the team because I am a huge Manchester United fan. Phil Jones was, though.

I love big soccer tournaments: the huge, jam-packed stadiums with perfect green pitches and fans wearing crazy face-paint and hats; the ritual of the national anthems before each match, where you get to see which players sing because they are confident, which ones don’t sing because they are nervous, and which ones don’t sing because they don’t know the words (n.b.: The U.S.A. has one of the worse-sounding anthems, and Latin America has some of the best-sounding, but both of these points are moot for the Euros. “God Save the Queen” is the only one in this tournament that will stand out, as the rest are pretty average.); the fact that there is only one video feed for the entire world, so each set of announcers has to adjust to what the feed is showing, which is especially funny when the feed refuses to include a timely replay of a crucial event, or when it shows one of the coaches making a bizarre facial expression, or when it shows an important play from much earlier in the match, but it isn’t clear immediately to the announcer which play it is.

Although the knockout rounds, and especially the semi-finals and final, are the matches that people will remember most years from now (though the match I remember most vividly from the 1998 World Cup is the first-round encounter between Holland and Belgium, when Patrick Kluivert got sent off), I find myself enjoying the opening round matches more because that is when the most upsets occur, and when there is a feeling of new excitement that gives the matches a fresh, fun vibe. This is missing in the knockout stages when Everything Is On The Line, and the teams tend to play tense as a result, which results in soccer that is of no higher quality than in the first round even though theoretically better teams are playing (note that this is happily often not the case in women’s tournaments–the knockout stages of the 2011 Women’s World Cup, and especially the final, were scintillating). It also normally results in many matches being decided on penalties, which always feels wrong (especially if you’re England!) even though the shootout itself can be exciting.

I’ll have my predictions of which teams will reach the knock-out rounds in the next few days.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

For some reason I had Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” in my head this afternoon, which is one of my favorite guilty pleasures from the ’80s. I have never seen the video, so I thought I would check it out. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A&ob=av3e

It is well worth 4:26 of your time. For the most part, it is a solidly cheesy ’80s video (nothing wrong with that) which acts out what the song is about–a teenage girl being rebellious and driving her parents up a wall. I’m not sure why videos that are literal like this get such a bad rap (or, conversely, why those that try to pretend they have no relationship to the song itself often get praised as “artistic.” For instance, the video for Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” [which is one of the best songs of all time; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_XLOBDo_Y&ob=av3n]: I just don’t get it. Or Duran Duran’s “Come Undone,” which involves mermaid bondage [seriously! check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICnlyNUt_0o&ob=av2n]). But two things stand out:

1. THE FATHER IN THE VIDEO IS PLAYED BY CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO!!! I try to stay away from all-caps, but WOW! Has there ever been a better music video cameo? (If you don’t know who Captain Lou Albano was, here is his wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lou_Albano)

2. On a more serious note, I was impressed at how ethnically diverse the group of “girls” is in the video considering that it was filmed in 1983. Kudos to Lauper for being inclusive.

Theodora Keogh’s Gemini

I just finished reading Theodora Keogh’s 1961 novel, Gemini. As I mentioned in my previous post, it is about a brother and sister who are lovers. Their attraction for one another is never fully explained; it is part of their mysterious connection as twins, a magical force unknowable to outsiders. As such, it is difficult to make an argument either for or against their incest (or to tell whether the novel itself does so)–they never make an argument for it, it just is, and there is thus nothing to “agree with” or “disagree with.” I am anti-incest, but the book did not horrify me or get my hackles up. The plot itself elicited an “eh, whatever” response. If Keogh intended it to be shocking, it no longer accomplishes this purpose.

However, I really enjoyed reading this book! Keogh’s use of language is beautiful in a smooth, languid way. Her prose is clear, with enough physical detail that I could easily picture in my mind the small Long Island village where the story takes place. One indicator of when a book is well-written is when its descriptions of food make me hungry, and Gemini had me craving good seafood the entire time (too bad I live in Utah!). I found myself really savoring the novel throughout its entirety. It makes me want to read more of Keogh’s writing, which is one of the best compliments a book can receive.